Masterful coaching requires masterful listening, attuned and adept, with the ability to maximize listening interaction. A coach must listen for the signs of life, the choices the leader is making, the resistance and turbulence encountered in the process.

Three Ways to Develop the Habit of Listening:

1. Prepare your mind.
Keep a file on each of your leaders—notes taken during prayer and personal times with them. Before a meeting, review notes and pray for the leader’s needs.

2. Prepare your heart.
Before you can really listen to someone, you must prepare your heart. By definition, a coach is a person who helps another move from one place to the next, whether in academics, athletics, or leadership. The only way you can fully separate yourself and focus on your leaders is through prayer and meditation. Only when you untangle yourself through the Spirit of God can you fully listen to the needs of your leaders.

3. Prepare great questions.
You’ll know what questions to ask by getting to know your leaders, their needs, and their goals. Great coaching questions go beyond information and reach the heart, stirring leaders to reflect and refocus.

To read more and get a “Coach’s Checklist” turn to Chapter 2: Listening “How to Be a Great Cell Group Coach” by Joel Comiskey.

1. Several members treat group meetings like naptimes and have started bringing their pillows and teddy bears.

2. Everyone finishes each other’s sentences.

3. Members keep whining, “But all the other groups have them!”

4. Several people have asked, “Didn’t we already study this?”

5. Group members have formed teams, are earning immunity, and talk about voting you out of the study.

6. You’ve had to confiscate several members’ cell phones because they keep text messaging each other.

7. Group members pay more attention to the study host’s cats than they do to the lesson.

8. Everyone keeps repeating “Yea, verily, yea,” after everything you say.

9. If you don’t  serve milk and cookies at your established meeting conclusion time, members throw tantrums.

10. You’ve had to hide the TV remote because people keep turning the TV on to Animal Planet when you’re not looking.

If you’ve discovered your group is predictable, consider ideas you are willing to try out to break this rut and share with us. Stay tuned as I will share a few ideas.

Habit #1: Receiving

• Great coaches are great receivers.
• Coaches have nothing of true value to give their cell leaders apart from what they are receiving from God himself.
• Spending time with God is all about getting to know God. The purpose is to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ.
• The power to coach is a product of the overflow of God’s love. The only thing coaches have to give is what God has already given to them.
• Devotional time is the time to get charged and refreshed in order to refresh others.
• The Spirit of God is the best coach. When coaches pray for their leaders, the Holy Spirit begins to work in their lives. He descends upon them, giving them the ability to hear and accomplish His will daily. As coaches pray for those they are leading, God gives them new insights into the leaders’ needs.

Want to read more? Get a copy of this book today!

It’s a lab for practicing unselfish, sympathetic love. You learn to care about others and share the experiences of others: “If one part of the body suffers, all the other parts suffer with it. Or if one part of our body is honored, all the other parts share its honor” (1 Cor. 12:26 NCV). Only in regular contact with ordinary, imperfect believers can we learn real fellowship and experience the connection God intends for us to have (Eph. 4:16, Rom. 12:4–5, Col. 2:19, 1 Cor. 12:25).  REAL fellowship is being as committed to each other as we are to Jesus Christ: “Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers” (1 John 3:16). This is the kind of sacrificial love God expects you to show other believers—loving them in the same way Jesus loves you.

A small group helps me develop spiritual muscle.

You’ll never grow to maturity just by attending worship services and being a passive spectator. One of the main tools of spiritual growth is participation in a small group, where your spiritual muscles get a regular workout. “As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love” (Eph. 4:16.)  Over fifty times in the New Testament the phrase “one another” or “each other” is used. We‘re commanded to love each other, pray for each other, encourage each other, admonish each other, greet each other, serve each other, teach each other, accept each other, honor each other, bear each other’s burdens, forgive each other, submit to each other, be devoted to each other, and many other mutual tasks! These are your “family responsibilities” if you claim to be a part of God’s family.  Who are you doing these with? Isolation breeds self-deception. It’s easy to fool ourselves into thinking we’re mature if there is no one to challenge us. Real maturity shows up in relationships. We need more than the Bible in order to grow; we need other believers. When others share what God is teaching them, I learn and grow too!

A small group confirms my identity as a genuine believer.

I can’t claim to be following Christ if I’m not committed to any specific group of disciples. Jesus said, “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (John 13:35 NLT). When we come together in love as a small group from different backgrounds, ethnicities, and social status, it’s a witness to the world (Galatians 3:28, John 17:21).  You’re not the Body of Christ on your own. You need others to express that. Together, not separated, we are his Body (1 Cor. 12:27).

A small group is the best way to take my God-given mission in the world.

When Jesus walked the earth, even he had a small group! Today the church is Christ’s Body on earth. We’re not just to love each other; we’re to take that love together to the rest of the world. We’re his hands, his feet, his eyes, and his heart. He works through us in the world “He creates each of us to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing” (Eph 2:10 Msg).

A small group will help keep me from spiritually backsliding.

None of us are immune to temptation. Given the right situation, you and I are capable of any sin. God knows this, so he has assigned us as individuals the responsibility of keeping each other on track. The Bible says, “Encourage one another daily … so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness” (Heb 3:13).  “Mind your own business” is NOT a Christian idea when it comes to helping each other! We’re commanded to be involved in each other’s lives. If you know someone who is wavering spiritually right now, it’s your responsibility to go after them and bring them back into the fellowship. “If you know people who have wandered off from God’s truth, don’t write them off. Go after them. Get them back” (James 5:19 Msg). Related to this is the benefit that being connected to a small group provides the spiritual protection of godly leaders. God gives shepherd leaders such as me, the responsibility to guard, protect, defend, and care for the spiritual welfare of his flock (Acts 20:28–29; 1 Peter 5:1–4; Hebrews 13:7, 17.). “Their work is to watch over your souls, and they know they are accountable to God” (Heb 13:17 NLT).  If you’re detached from the Saddleback Body of believers, I’m not responsible for you. If you are unplugged from the life of the Body and isolated from the fellowship of God’s family, Satan knows you’ll be defenseless and powerless against his tactics.

The Body of Christ needs me!

You have a background and experiences that other people can learn from and draw strength from! God has a unique role for you to play in his family. This is called your “ministry,” and God has gifted you for this assignment. “A spiritual gift is given to each of us as a means of helping the entire church” (1 Cor. 12:7).Your small group is the place God designed for you to discover, develop, and use your spiritual gifts and talents.

Adapted from Pastor Rick Warren www.pastors.com

Imagine a city-wide goal of 1,000 small groups meeting all over the city sharing and serving in the name of Jesus.

Imagine churches partnering together to reach and connect a city to small groups.

Imagine cultivating a community of Christ-centered small groups.

2nd Annual CITY-WIDE Group Gathering at Southwinds Church with Rick Howerton.

Contest Criteria:

1. Engaging (Does the idea engage everyone?)

2. Affordable (Is the idea affordable for everyone?)

3. Exciting (Will everyone experience excitement and enjoyment?)

4. Purposeful (What is the purpose behind the idea?)

5. Summer Only (Is it a summertime idea?)

Once your ideas meet the contest criteria, send me your ideas and I will announce the Top 3 Winners later this month.

One Common Rut People Get Stuck In: Rut of INSANITY.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. People stuck in this rut are those who come to small group with the same stories, same excuses, same problems, same patterns of behavior, same perspectives, and same promises still getting the same results. This leads me to the implications of this rut.

Implications:

• Life change is blocked
• Energy is drained
• Relationships are zapped

If you face this rut in your life or in your group, here are a few practical ways to BUST this rut.

Rut-busters:

• Challenge & change perspective. Rom. 12:1-2
• Identify Next Steps. 2 Peter 1:3-9
• Set goal/date for Next Steps. Proverbs 21:5
• Partner up.  Hebrews 10:24
• Pray Up There, Down Here. Matthew 6:10                                             

Next Week: Rut of Stupidity.

I’d love to hear your feedback.

How do you know when you are stuck in a rut? How do you know when your group is stuck?

Four Common Ruts People Get Stuck In:

1. Insanity

2. Stupidity

3. Superficiality

4. Conformity

Question of the Month: What ruts do you or your group tend to get stuck in?

I’d love to hear your feedback.

Here are my top ten reasons of why I am personally in a small group.

1. To enjoy shared experiences with friends.
2. I love learning from others (lifelong learning).
3. I want to pursue God in the community of friendships.
4. I need a support system around me.
5. For prayer & protection against the deception and destruction of sin
6. Because I want personal spiritual health
7. To practice and wrestle with biblical truth
8. To be a part of something bigger than myself
9. Provide a place of belonging for others
10. God uses my group to help me know God better and to love others deeper.

How about you? Why are you personally in a small group?